


idfc

by melchixr



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Depression, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Songfic, Unrequited, Yearning, ernst is kinda hopeless, hanschen's kinda a dick, happy-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8639938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melchixr/pseuds/melchixr
Summary: There was a long pause before Ernst’s words came out, venomous and angry. “Why the fuck do you care, Hanschen?”
Silence on the other line. Silence filled with static and white noise.
That silence was quickly replaced by the dark, demanding silence of Ernst’s bedroom, screen lit up and reading:





	

_Tell me pretty lies_  
Look me in the face  
Tell me that you love me  
Even if it’s fake  
Cause I don’t fucking care at all

“Are you sure this is fine, Ernst?” Hanschen asked as he  straightened out the sweater Ernst had loaned him after searching through his closet for half an hour. It was a bit too small and didn’t quite come down all the way to his wrist. But Ernst would be lying if he said it didn’t look amazing.

“Yeah, keep it as long as you want…” Ernst muttered and moved his eyes to the floor. He had no right to look at Hanschen this way. Hanschen didn’t belong to him.

He wouldn’t be surprised if Hanschen didn’t belong to anyone.

The blond looked himself over in the full length mirror Ernst had leaning against the wall. He turned, looking over his shoulder, probably at his own ass. “How does it look, Ernie?”

“You look amazing, Hanschen,” He stuttered out to his best friend. He realized that this probably wasn’t how best friend’s spoke and was quick to save himself. “I mean… Melchior is a lucky guy.”

Scoffing, Hanschen moved and put a hand on Ernst’s bony shoulder. That simple touch sent shivers all up and down Ernst’s spine. “Ernst, you talk like I’m marrying Melchior. We’re just going to a museum!”

Ernst nodded over and over again. But he couldn’t think of any words he could say to make it seem like he didn’t care who Hanschen took to any stupid museum.

“Besides,” the shorter of the two continued and anxiously tugged at the hem of the light blue wool that made his eyes pop out like little diamonds. “I sincerely doubt that there will even be a second date.”

“Then why are you going?” Ernst’s voice came out as a small squeak.

All Hanschen had to do was raise his eyebrows and shrug, telling Ernst exactly what he wanted out of Melchior.

Or from Melchior.

“ I gotta go, Ernie. I’ll catch up with you later. We can Skype as soon as I get home. Love you! Au Revoir!”

As he left, Ernst asked himself why he was so surprised what Hanschen did for sex. He’d been like this since high school. And he’d probably never change.

  
_You been out all night_  
I don’t know where you been  
You slurring all your words  
Not making any sense  
But I don’t fucking care at all

“ERNST ROBEL??! ARE YOU ALIVE??!!” A loud, booming voice from his front room shook Ernst from his sleep. His eyes flew open, staring straight up at the ceiling above his head, still not fully understanding what was going on until he heard the voice call once again. “ERNST WHERE ARE-OW!”

The voice was now joined by what sounded an awful lot like Ernst’s bookshelf toppling to the ground.

With bare feet, Ernst made his way down the hall with frantic steps. As suspected, he was met with his bookshelf knocked over with paperbacks scattered around the rug in the living room. And lying among the books and broken shelves was Hanschen. He was splayed out among the poetry and science fiction, face flushed pink.

“Hanschen, what the fuck?” He hissed before wrapping his arms around his chest out of a sudden rush of self consciousness. “How did you get in here? Where’d you come from?!”

“I was in the neighborhood and decided to swing by…” He slurred. It was now bluntly obviously that he was drunk off his ass. “By the way, my car may or may not be mostly on the sidewalk. “

Ernst let out a disappointed sigh before leaning down and pulling Hanschen up to sit upright. At least he wasn’t wounded or dead. “You drove here?! What were you thinking?”

“It’s no big deal….oh, and here,” his hand extended to offer the housekey that he used to get himself in Ernst’s little basement ‘apartment’ below some old guys mini mansion. It was usually kept under the welcome mat. And Hanschen seemed to know this information. 

He wasn’t sure how, but Hanschen knew. But that was the last thing on his mind.

“What did you come here for, Hansi?” Ernst asked, slowly pulling Hanschen to his own shaky feet. He could smell vodka on Hanschen’s breath when he leaned close to his companion. It was a bit odd, seeing that Hanschen normally drank exclusively dark liquor. He wondered what made it change tonight.

He wondered if Hanschen tasted of liquor too.

God no, no, no, absolutely not. He had to find something to get his mind off of-

  
“I think I’m about to vomit, Ernie….” Hanschen suddenly groaned before skittering down the hall, flinging himself into the bathroom and promptly throwing his guts up onto the toilet bowl.  
  
 _Cause I have hella feelings for you_  
I act like I don’t fucking care  
Like they ain’t even there

**15 Missed Calls from: Hansi**

Ernst glared down at the phone laying beside him on the bed. It was locked, but the screen was lit up with notifications. Unanswered texts from that morning had faded into a mix of voicemails and texts from Hanschen in the afternoon.

It was Hanschen’s messages that were awakening the screen, reminding Ernst every single time how many hours he had been lying there, unmoving.

**1:15**

**16 Missed Calls from: Hansi**

**1:19**

**17 Missed Calls from: Hansi**

**1:20**

**Call from: Hansi**

“Hello?”

There was an awkward pause on the other side, as if Hanschen wasn’t expecting an answer, before a voice come back over the speaker. “Hello, yes, Ernst? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Why are you calling me, Hanschen?” He muttered his first words all day, the sentence coming out gruff and sleepy even though he’d been awake for three hours.

“Are you okay?” The man on the other side asked. “Why didn’t you answer my texts? Is something wrong?”

There was a long pause before Ernst’s words came out, venomous and angry. “Why the fuck do you care, Hanschen?”

Silence on the other line. Silence filled with static and white noise.

That silence was quickly replaced by the dark, demanding silence of Ernst’s bedroom, screen lit up and reading:

**1:21**

**18 Missed Calls from: Hansi**

__  
Cause I have hella feelings for you  
I act like I don’t fucking care  
Cause I’m so fucking scared  
I’m only a fool for you

“Ernst, when was the last time you slept?” Hanschen’s voice came out drawing from behind Ernst. The sound Bobby’s ‘party’ droned on beyond them, sounding blurry. The loud bass had dissipated in the air around them, just before Ernst could duck into him beat up Chevy and speed out of there like a bat out of hell.

How the fuck did he know that Ernst was here? He had been so careful that no one here was a mutual friend of him and Hanschen.

“Why do you ask that?” Ernst muttered, just loud enough for Hanschen to hear. He turned around, coming face to face with Hanschen for the first time in weeks.  He seemed a little bit taller,  his eyes a different shade of blue than it used to be.

He turned back, looking over at the suburban house with sound and light pouring from all windows. It wasn’t like when they were teens and looked for any excuse for parents to leave and for alcohol to be available. Life is much more different when you’re adults. So are parties.

This wasn’t highschool anymore. No outrageous parties or prom or gossiping in the halls. They were all gone. Ernst left all aspects of his life from then.

“The bags under your eyes….they’re…..” He didn’t continue. Instead, he just bit his lip and let his eyes roll over Ernst. “How’d you find your way over here?”

The brunette kept his hand on the handle to the car door, trying not to wince when he heard Hanschen behind him. “I have to go, I’m sorry.”

“Wait, I think we need to talk!” Hanschen shuffled closer. But life isn’t a teen romance movie. “I miss you, Ernst.”

Time to leave Hanschen behind too.

He started the car and didn’t hesitate to speed out of the suburbs.  
  
  
 _And maybe you’re too good for me_  
I’m only a fool for you  
But I don’t fucking care at all

“You’re an angel, Stiefel, I swear….” The muttered words came out from Ernst’s mouth, warped by a smile.  “You know me far too well.”

Moritz snickered from across the table, a pale white hand carding through his hair, only making it more of a mangled mess. “You’re not hard to read, Ernie. Your personality reads peppermint hot chocolate.”

“Personalities ‘read’ Starbucks drinks?” He snickered teasingly in return, his heart thrumming when hazel eyes locked onto his own brown ones for a second

The frail, stick of a boy nodded profusely before taking a sip of his own drink and extended his hand out on top of the table. For a moment, Ernst just stared at it before realizing what Moritz was offering and let his  fingers intertwine with his boyfriend’s on the table top.

There was a silence for a moments, a content kind that makes your heart turn all warm and you brain go a little bit fuzzy.

When his eyes pulled off of their hands, clasped together, he let his gaze wander up to the little coffee shop. Then he spotted the window, leading out to the bustling city streets and the dark grey skies and the drizzling rain.

The city was definitely where he belonged. Not just the city. But this Starbucks on this street in New York city with this boy.

This is exactly where he belonged.

And that’s when he saw him, sticking out like a sore thumb.  Stark blond hair, grown out stubble, circular glasses on the end of his nose.

He didn’t look like him. But it had to be him.

“Babe?” Moritz’s voice broke through the barrier in Ernst’s mind. “What are you staring at?”

He kept his eyes trained on Hanschen through the window until he was gone, only pausing to tuck his vibrant red scarf back into his coat and went back to bustling down the sidewalk, moving with the world. He watched until Hanschen was gone.

Hanschen didn’t stop once. Hanschen didn’t notice Ernst. Hanschen didn’t know he was there. Hanschen let go.

And he kept letting go.

“Nothing….The sky is just so…pretty.”

**Author's Note:**

> lmao this fic was a STRUGGLE to write tbh. Anyway: this was originally posted on my tumblr @likeinlxtin. I'm mostly active on that so....i hope you enjoyed this shitty fic!


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